Yesterday I squeezed myself into a pair of black pants and a red shirt that I used to wear back when Ellie was a twinkle instead of a gangly four-year-old. I dropped the girls off at my sister-in-law's house and then drove to the local community college where I had an interview with an English professor as well as the Dean of the College of Fine Arts, Humanities, and Nutrition (I'm not kidding, it's a small community college). We talked pedagogy and syllabi, course content and teaching history for nearly an hour. I'm not certain that the dean saw the gap in my teaching history, or that he cared. He made a joke about being a troglodite for never having taught an online course. He wasn't the only one feeling like a troglodite.
I've missed hearing the word troglodite.
And then we had to start talking schedules. For developmental writing, the course meets four days a week for a full hour at a time. Back when I was a student who could zip from my kiosk or the library over to a classroom for an hour to lead some discussion and grade a quiz, four times a week didn't seem like a big deal. That's what you do from 11-12, right?
But all of a sudden, one hour a day for four days a week sounds pretty hard. It's no longer a matter of a walk, but a matter of getting two girls ready to go somewhere else and then me Being Somewhere Else four days a week for an hour a day when they are sick or sleepy or need to go to dance class. It's fitting in an hour a day around naptimes and snack times and potty training. I thought once no one was nursing, getting something part time wouldn't be such an incredible hassle, but I do very few things for an hour at a time every day at the same time, plus there's the preschool co-op that makes teaching mornings four days a week out of the question.
Chris says that all work would be 90% headache and 10% fun, but it feels like trying to schedule around that hour (almost 2 hours with driving to the sitter and the school and then staying for questions after class and then back to the sitter) would be more hassle than the outside the house time and tiny paycheck that I'd bring home. I liked teaching before, but I didn't love it. I love the atmosphere of a college, but would a taste of it every day for one hour make me miss it even more? And those hours would eat into the few minutes I have to spend on things that I really like doing--like writing and reading and running and spending time with Chris.
I feel kind of silly even worrying about this because it's not about the money, but it's more about me wanting to do something outside of our house. I really like my kids, but there's something about being home with them all day every day that gets a little draining. But then again, teaching this class might be just as draining, simply because of scheduling concerns. It's just another example of me thinking I wanted something and then once it comes, just not being sure.
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7 comments:
i'm pretty sure that my black work slack wouldn't even squeeze onto one thigh right now--
that being said, i do understand the mixed emotions. i LOVED teaching but having done it through two pregnancies and one baby/toddler, i am grateful that i DON'T have that added stress right now--because that is what it became once i was being pulled in so many directions.
but, everyone is different and you should make the choice that will make you feel good
good luck
it is so funny that I read this post right after my visiting teachers left. We spent most of the visit talking about master's degrees and teaching and it made me miss school so much. Especially because I have two kids with colds today, who are being particularly whiny and clingy. Oh, the academic life seems so clean and cerebral and fun. Then I read your post. And giving up that much time would be hard on all of us. (I am just putting myself in your shoes right now) So let me know what you decide. You are a really good mom and I know whatever you do, you will still be a good mom. Good luck.
Such a hard decision, but you'll figure it out. Good luck!
Good for you Reba. I totally understand your desire to do that teaching. I used to love teaching but it seems it would be too hard to do now. One thing that worked for a while was teaching night b/c then you only go 2 times a week (but for longer) and then it's not like you're skipping out every single day. Good luck making your decisions. You're awesome!
Hey Reba!
Yep, that's what I figured when I went back to school last year. That 4-5 days/week lasted all of about 2 months. But I have found that if I work 1 full day a week it is much easier than a little every day because I only have to drop Bella off once.
It's a hard one to figure out. Even now I think about what I could do with that day if I wasn't working. But alas, I am.
~Rachel
I think it was yesterday that I told Lee I was going back to work FULL TIME. His response was, "so, you want to make your children someone else's problem?!". I quickly shook my head, YESSSSS!!!!!!!
Congrats Reba! It's a hard decision, maybe can you commit to only one semester and then see if you want to continue if it works out? I think you'll enjoy doing something other than "kids" but from my own experience it's also VERY time consuming. The cooking/cleaning/etc. takes a back seat way too often. Seems like a fun opportunity though! Let us know what you decide!
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